Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
