I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
