Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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