and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
