I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
