Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
