just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just want nice things and good sex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
