I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize