A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So vagazzling was a success
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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