What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
