I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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