i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
