See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
