if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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