I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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