I wannas sexs uuuuu
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
