Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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