it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bring me that man meat
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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