Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
