Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
