I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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