forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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