yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
