On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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