escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
