chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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