Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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