She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
