I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
