I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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