Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
