I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
