hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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