We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
