you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
third nipple confirmed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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