Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
