And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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