he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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