What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
