i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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