When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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