I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
