Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am mentally ready for anal.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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