So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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