so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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