What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
