I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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