hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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