You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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