Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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