either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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