I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
