Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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