i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
