I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
