i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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