Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
