just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
True strength comes from lack of pants
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
