I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
