watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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