She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
