We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
