Your dad touched me again.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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