He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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