I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
