if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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