I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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